Star Wars Confessions

For anyone who knows me, the following will be a horrifying revelation. Luckily the problem has now been remedied so there isn’t much cause for alarm!

Until about 2 months ago, I had never seen The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi… I’ll just give that a second to sink in.

Now, had anyone asked me, I would have sworn blind I had and I could hold a conversation with any buff about the ins and outs of my favourite lightsaber battles and hyperdrive operation. Not to mention my substantial knowledge of the score… which I can now fully appreciate. As a geek there are just some things you have to keep to yourself or risk having your geek card revoked!

There are certain things that very few people watch for the first time as an adult. Things like The Sound of Music, the Wizard of Oz or Bambi, and for most people Star Wars is right up there. It’s hard to say how I managed to miss it, but I imagine it’s probably because my family have such an aversion to sci-fi (though my mum has admitted to being something of a Trekkie in the 60s…). Of course, I have no idea how I would have reacted to seeing it as a child, but I can tell you now, watching it as an adult is a hell of an experience! Knowing you’re watching something completely amazing for the first time, which you can never unsee… admit it, you’re kinda jealous.

Although I had a vague idea of the general story line, I can honestly say I had no idea of how it was going to end. When Luke’s hand was cut off I nearly wet myself, and when Darth Vader threw the Emperor down the shaft my heart was beating so hard I could barely hear the TV.

Now I’m going to do the unthinkable and definitely risk losing my geek card forever… yes, I have seen the new trilogy, yes I liked them (admittedly, nowhere near as much as the original trilogy) and (here goes)… they almost enhanced the experience a little more. As much as you might not like to admit it, the characters have am important back story which affects the original trilogy. While knowing this back story may have ruined certain aspects (like Vader being Luke and Leia’s father… but come on, I don’t live in a cave), it meant I understood references, saw symmetry and generally followed the story line much better.

Though the high I experienced at the time has passed, and the history of lies may obscure the exact timeline, I will never forget how I felt the first time I saw these movies. Anything that has had such an enormous impact on popular culture has to be seen to be believed; and I should probably leave it at that before I come up with any more clichés.

Someday I’ll go through the details more carefully, but for now… Luke is made of awesome and Han and Leia’s kiss in The Empire Strikes Back also had me wetting myself!

The joys of job hunting!

In “Just a Geek”, Wil Wheaton talks about an inner dialogue which he calls proof to everyone that quitting Star Trek wasn’t a mistake (or proof to everyone to his friends…). I’m sorry to say that I too have an internal voice which I call proof to everyone that it was a good idea to do a music degree.

For quite a while, proof to everyone was trying to get me a job in administration because “I would like to get into Arts Administration and to do that you need office experience!”. This is something I did very briefly before being made redundant and becoming a drain on society, and to be perfectly honest, I loved it. Sure, it wasn’t the most stimulating job in the world, but as far as ‘jobs you take while you’re waiting for something better to come along’ go, it was a damn good one. Good company, comfy chairs, long breaks, internet access, loads of time for reading and most importantly, flex-time. The annoying thing is, I really didn’t appreciate it at the time and now I know I will NEVER get another job like that.

The thing is, I know it’s not something I wanted to do. It was so frustrating to see people I’m smarter than as my boss- not that I would deny people the jobs they’ve worked all their lives for, it’s just it’s nice not to be treated like an idiot. Ya dig?

The thing is, proof to everyone has done something very strange lately. For some reason, he (yes, my internal dialogue is a he) as decided to listen to all those annoying people who assumed you only do music so you can teach other people music and apply for teaching! What is strange about this is that he and I had pretty much agreed we weren’t going to do this because of the annoying people, but proof to everyone assures me I do in fact very much want to be a teacher. The more I think about it, the more I realise this is probably true.

So, all being well, one of the three Colleges I’ve applied for will be able to accept me, and by this time next year I could be out on teaching practise. I have all my fingers crossed! Well done proof to everyone!

New Year’s Resolutions

1. Be myself: I like to think in most situations I can pretty much be myself without concerning myself with other people’s opinions of me. This year I would like to make that true far more often. This nicely leads on to…

2. Share More and blog more often.

3. Be funnier: This year I definitely want to write more often. Hopefully this means hilarity in every day life will be within my reach.

4. Eat more sensibly: Michael McIntyre says everyone comes to a point when they realise it’s time to lose weight. For him it was being asked to move to balance the weight of a plane. For me it was when I realised “I’ve had half a bottle of wine and feel no effect whatsoever.”

5. Sort out what to do with the rest of my life and do it.

6. Be less easily pissed off.

7. Be a Trekkie.

Some thoughts on Doctor Who: The End of Time

I watched part one on Christmas day like a good little geek, my expectations high (as well as my blood sugar level… damned mulled wine). For some reason I can’t remember I had missed Waters of Mars and so I watched it earlier in the day and this did nothing but raise my expectations higher!

I hate when people put reviews in context… I do apologise.

The first half seems hardly worth mentioning. It was an average episode (though in all honesty, as good as any other ’special’) which introduced the story but to me, it felt like one bit exposition. It’s almost like they were worried it to too talky and they threw in a few needlessly violent moments for good measure. The ending was kind of strange. Bearable but as it turns out, a little redundant, and speaking of redundancy… Why was the music so loud and so constant? Music can really make or break a Doctor Who episode. There are so many episodes where the cheesiness takes over, all because of the music. If they want to make it so majorly dramatic, the least they could do is make it fit into the episode and enhance it as opposed to completely overpowering everything. I really don’t have much to say about this whole episode. It’s like watching the first half of a movie but waiting a week to watch the end.

And What an end….

It opened with a good old fashioned dose of character development; The Doctor is torn between his resentment of the Master and his captivation with a brother Time Lord. The Master’s madness driving betrays him and he almost begs the Doctor for help. It’s such an alluring scene I was almost sad when the Doctor and Wilf got away!

The episode carries on on a similar vein. They end up in space in the Cactus’s space craft  and in the middle of the hype, they spare a moment for old gramps to stare in wonder at the earth from above- a pleasant reminder of the occasional reality behind sci-fi.I laughed a little at the scene where Wilf tried to convince The Doctor to take his gun. The Doctor considers all the possible situations he might require a gun and refuses (”Never.”), then 5 seconds later he realises that actually, he may need it after all…

A final face-off, where the Doctor decides whether it’d be better to kill the Master or the Gaillfreyan president and after what felt like an hour of suspense I feared might kill me, he ordered the Master out of the way and blew the whole contraption to kingdom come in a moment of “Why didn’t I think of that earlier…”, as the president threatens to take the Doctor with him. Our faith in the Master’s hunaity is once again restored as he forgets his lines and steals someone else’s, demanding the Doctor gets out of the way and buggers up the president before he makes it to hell.

But what’s this? The Doctor is still alive! This is good, and we all breathe a sigh of relief along with the Doctor. Then suddenly, the four knocks and everyone, including the Doctor, thinks “Oh Crap”, as he realises he’s going to die- not to save the world or to bring the end of another, but for one man.

The last 20 minutes are a little odd. Not only does he not regenerate right away. He has a good few hours to pop around his scrap book and say goodbye to some people he will more than likely see again. A lesser doctor would certainly not have been given such a goodbye, but this is freaking David Tennant!

I absolutely adore David Tennant, but I hate him for leaving the roll of the Doctor. Oddly enough, after about 30 seconds of yelling “I don’t want you to go either!” Matt Smith appeared and all was forgiven within his first 5 lines.

I am ridiculously excited about the new series now!

Highlight of my Life.

Well… life might be a slight exaggeration. Wil bloody Wheaton laughed at a joke I made!

It’s still cool that my joke was a quote right?

I kissed a vampire… I wish

I’m so embarrassed to report I’ve become one of the millions of people who are completely vampire obsessed! They’re flying at us from all angles at the minute so I suppose it’s not that difficult to believe. There’s a vampire to suit anyone’s taste at the minute so it doesn’t matter what you’re into! Personally, I’ve always been an Angel girl so hot, broody and reluctant about their fate is how I like ‘em!I miss Buffy…

I watched the first episode of True Blood earlier (honestly, I’m surprised I’ve never watched it before!) and it was awesome. I can’t wait to watch the rest. Also, for some reason I will never remember, I watched the first episode of The Lair. HOW could anyone make a show about gay vampires soooo bad?

Rather embarrassingly, what started me in this current obsession wasn’t the Twilight ‘Saga’ or anything vaguely sensible. It was a little known Internet Musical called I kissed a Vampire. Originally I watched it because Lucas Grabeel is in it who I like an appropriate amount. It’s one of the cheesiest things I’ve watched in ages (and I’m always open to cheesiness) but there was something about it I really liked! It doesn’t take itself too seriously, unlike almost everything else vampire related, which is probably why I find it so appealing. Also, did I mention it’s a musical? Now, it would be easy to jump to the conclusion that I only liked it because it was a musical but, as Dreamgirls proved only hours ago, I don’t like all musicals. There are only four or five songs in it, but they’re so annoyingly catchy, they’re all I’ve been thinking about for days (except for Data swearing in ST VII, but I’ll get to that another time). I’m actually annoyed there’s so little of it. It’s only like, half an hour long and hasn’t got all that much music in it, but what’s there is great if you’re not too easily put off by cheese!

So thanks to this completely insane internet musical, I intend to spend the next couple of days re-reading some Twilight! I’m such a loser, but fortunately at the minute I’m one of many!

The Star Trek Marathon

I’m currently in the middle of a Star Trek Marathon! That means all the movies and all the series (except for the animated series… it freaks me out and isn’t strictly canon!) which I had originally intended to have completed in time for the new movie coming out on DVD. For some strange unknown reason, I’ve managed to go my whole life without ever having watched ANY Star Trek. I knew I’d like it if I sat down and watched it, but I just never really managed it. Now in a world of downloads and online episode guides, it’s a much easier task than it used to be! It’s been going on for a good couple of months now and I’m almost half way to nearly finished the Next Generation.

I’ve been having quite an unusual ride! I’ve been living in what I would describe as a rather geek-orientated world and I hadn’t really considered being Trek free to be a disadvantage. All of a sudden however, I get all the jokes, I understand all the references and I can hold a fairly technical conversation about the inner workings of a FTL drive! It also means I’ve had a lot of friends accidentally telling me spoilers, which is less fun.

The Original series passed without much event. This was where a lot of the references I never understood came from! So much of the culture of the geek and so many sci-fi story lines are indebted to these three series that it’s impossible not to feel an instant familiarity, even when watching them for the first time. It’s fun sometimes to watch a show made when certain…. cinematic techniques, hadn’t yet become cheesey, like the dramatic zoom in on the actor’s face (made all the funnier when it’s accompanied with dramatic music!). The dodgey sets, crappy props and downright strange special effects (the ‘alien’ in the The Enemy Within being a personal favourite!)  just make it all the more endearing.

I was ridiculously excited about watching the movies, and when the glorious day actually came I locked myself in my bedroom and sat in a Trek induced delirium for the following 4 hours.  I remember the first comment I made after ‘The Motion Picture’ was, “Dr McCoy didn’t do a damn thing in that film!” and I think that sums it up well enough! ‘Wrath of Khan’ on the other hand was awesome… I cried like an idiot. A lot. The time travel annoyed me slightly, but it would take a hell of a time travel movie not to!It’s kinda funny how, no matter how hard they try not to be sexist, there’s always that little bit of misogyny! One of the first times they show a woman in command of the Enterprise she gets everyone killed! Even if it is only a simulation… it’s a miracle she didn’t cry!

One line movie reviews are kinda my thing, so here goes!

The Motion Picture: Act your age and wear some trousers. Good if you don’t know how much better they become!

The Wrath of Khan: Made me cry! Where did the glasses come from in the first place!?

Search For Spock: I wasn’t allowed to watch this one, but I probably will anyway in the not too distant future!

The Voyage Home: Did Kirk just swear!? Freakin hilarious! Stupid ending.

The Final Frontier: Not as bad as everyone told me it’d be! In fact…. kinda good character-wise!

The Undiscovered Country: They reeeeeally like trials in Star Trek. Odd/Even number rule applies. “Other’s will continue…”

Like I said, I’m getting near the end of The Next Generation now, and I really can’t wait to get to the next batch of movies!

Vicki is grumpy and here’s why….

Today I saw one of those Darwin Fish car thingies, and after having a giggle about it and kinda wanting one, it occured to me that having such a thing on my car would have me pegged as an atheist! This is stupid and here’s why….

First of all, Darwin does not contradict Christianity and here’s why…. [stop saying that dammit]

Yes, creationism took a hit, and yes the Vatican, as usual, completely overreacted making everyone associated with them look like idiots, but here’s the thing… science and religion doesn’t have to be an either/or situation!

For a start, there’s scientific evidence to support the creation story. To understand that however, you have to stop taking every word of the Bible literally. Time for example, doesn’t necessarily have to be taken literally, especially when referring to a god of any description. We’re even told in the bible that time is meaningless to God, ok? This is how creationists end up sounding like idiots. So anyway, is pretty much an accepted fact that the order things in the creation story happen is pretty much correct, and science backs that up. So we start with nothing, then ‘bang’ you have matter (sun, moon, earth and skies if you like!), then a ‘day’ later you have land and sea, and all that other stuff. The next day was night and day again, I never really got that…

You get the idea anyway. The third day you get life (plant life for now, but life none the less) and then two ‘days’ later there are animals. The day only represents a point in time, not necessarily 24 hours. The animals there on the fifth day aren’t even named. Could’ve been single celled organisms, could’ve been dinosaurs… So moving on to day six, it’s a generally accepted fact that every man and every woman is descended from a single ‘Adam’ and ‘Eve’. Then on the seventh day he rested. Who knows what that’s supposed to mean! Maybe it hasn’t happened yet! Maybe some day they’ll be saying on the seventh day God created electronics!

I’m not necessarily saying I’m right here, just explaining an option!

It’s insanely annoying to be told evolution didn’t happen based on nothing more than a nostalgic belief in a story, but It’s equally annoying to be told that story is a pile of crap because the people spouting it are incapable of explaining it in any way other that “IT SAYS SO IN THE BIBLE!!”.

While I’m on the subject… It drives me crazy when people who think they know what they’re talking about try to explain the human-ape connection. Common ancestor people!!!

So the point of that rant is: Don’t label people as an atheist because they believe in evolution!

Next time… Noah’s Ark

The Joys Of Work in General

For months you struggle to find your place within a new company only to find that thanks to the idiot you replaced your boss has lost all faith in humanity and has no interest in letting you learn anything but the bare minimum. And just becuase it’s a temporary contract you’re even less likely to be trusted with anything other than just enough for you to do your job. You’ll be assumed to be an idiot unless by some miracle you can prove otherwise and everyone will explain to you every little thing you need to do whether you know it or not. The only escape is death…. or another job I suppose….

The Joys of Working in a Cinema- Sceen hoppers

Day after day, thousands of twatty penniless kids descend on the cinemas of the world and lock themselves in an endless battle with staff and security. Where I work there are two weak points- the two exit doors on each side. 

Every screen hopper goes through the same stages before attempting to sneak in: Standing innocently beside the games machines, picking up a listings leaflet, going to the toilet, checking out both doors, standing and looking over the railings at the stairs and finally trying to sneak in.

Tips for sneaking into the cinema:

1. Come when it’s busy and not when you’re the only people in the foyer.
2. Buy popcorn… or anything for that matter
3. Don’t dress like a market stall threw up on you